Urgh. Snow. Yuck.

I can't lie. I hate winter. And anyone who says they like it, is a liar from the pits of hell. There is nothing, NOTHING, nice about these five to six months out of the year when you have to bundle up in layers and layers of material and goose down only to shiver, get frostbitten and catch colds every two twos.

Really, what is there to like about winter? The ice? The snow? The windchill? The only good things about winter are: Christmas, your makeup doesn't sweat off and there are no bugs outside.

This morning when I woke up, I looked out of my window and saw dry roads and a cloudy sky. By the time I put on my coat and boots (not even the real boots, they are cute fall boots), I heard it was snowing. I thought, 'oh! Flurries! How cute!'

Hmmph. Flurries my eye.

By the time I walked outside, I was in a maelstrom. The snow was falling, the wind was blowing and I couldn't see a darned thing. I took out my braids this weekend, so my hair is much too big for me to wear a hat. All the poor Urban Sista had was an umbrella and a prayer.

I fought against the wind and made it to the bus stop. Yes, unfortunately, today of all days, my sister had to go downtown and she took the car with her. I closed up my umbrella to wait for the bus... but why was the snow still licking me in my face?

I had to open up the umbella inside the bus shed to shelter from the storm force winds assaulting my poor skin. After five minutes of waiting and I was close to tears -- I'm saying, it's only December... the first full week of December. If I can't deal with this a windchill of -8, how am I going to deal with -32 in January?

Lawd, help me. Sniff.

A young woman from my building walked, shivering, into the bus shed. She wasn't wearing a hat or scarf and her warm-looking coat is opened, exposing all of her chest to the elements. The other person in the bus shed looked at me and said, with her eyes, 'this heifer must be out of her mind! It's as cold as ras up in here.'

After a couple of minutes, the girl with her chest exposed (she was wearing a sweater, but today's cold was no joke), started to get stressed -- you could see it in her eyes. She was trying to find a warm corner in the bus shed, but as I pointed out earlier, the snow and wind were blowing in freezing us.

Can you believe that girl tried to sidle up under my umbrella?

That ain't right. Why are you trying to be under my umbrella, when you have a big, able hood on your jacket but you think you're too cute to wear. No ma'am, stand there and freeze while I ride it out under my umbrella.

Finally, the bus arrived. It was 20 minutes late, but it was there and it was warm and dry. I found a seat at the back and decided to relax and enjoy the ride to the subway. Well, I could have walked faster to the subway the way the traffic was all backed up along Kingston Rd. and Eglinton Ave. And then the bus started to skid -- look, as Ivana from the Apprentice would say, when a big, twenty tonne bus skids, you know the weather isn't so good.

I arrived at Kennedy subway station, finally. A ride that should have taken me 20 minutes, took 50 minutes. But, I got there safely, so I shouldn't complain. I went upstairs to the rapid transit platform for the last leg of my trip. A gale force wind ripped across the platform and I started to shiver. My teeth were chattering and my feet were getting numb.

Wait. I expect this in January and February, not December! Last December was so mild and wonderful -- Christmas was green and I wore a cute outfit last New Year's Eve.

Well, if this is any indication of the upcoming weather, don't look for the Urban Sista outside of her yard. I'll be curled up with a blanket, some hot chocolate and a book. For real.

I finally did make it to work -- a good hour and a half after I left my home. My hair was soaked and my cute curly 'fro is... well... jacked up. I had to go spend good money to buy a new sweater because I can't deal with the elements on my way home unless I'm well prepared.

All I can say to my peoples reading this: say a prayer for me. I don't know if I can make it to April if I have to suffer through another Canadian winter. My hair's already starting to dry up.

Sniff.

You can contact me if you want to send a donation to the 'Send The Urban Sista to Barbados for the Winter' fund.