Lawd have mercy! Yuh at work!

Hello everyone!

Yes, after four months of work turmoil, I'm back to blogging :) Yay!

So, I work for a pretty big company and we have a really relaxed dress code. I roll up into work in jeans and t-shirts because I don't deal with any clients. It's me and my computer along with my co-workers typing away at various documents or Web pages.

I understand relaxed dress code, but some people are taking it too well and far. My sister (who also works for the company) and I were rushing out to get some lunch when she stopped mid-sentence and said, "lawd have mercy!"

"What?" I asked.

"Look at that!" There was a weighty woman ahead of us wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, but the material on her backside was bleached white. So, all you saw was this huge white bamsy with dark blue sticks holding it up. My mouth dropped.

"They need a dress code up in this place--"

Business casual is cool. That means I don't have to spend a big set of money on business suits. I can wear khakis, t-shirts, button down blouses, jeans -- pretty much anything that's tasteful.

Tasteful, folks. That's the operative word.

I've seen people busting velour tracksuits, blouses cut down to their navels, t-shirts with Bob Marley's big head on them. Heck, I've seen camel toes all up and through this place of business.

That's right, people, this is a place of business. This isn't the club. This isn't the jam on Saturday night. This is work. This is where you make your money.

Chupse.

There's a young woman who works at the company, I just shake my head. I have nothing again looking young, fly and flashy at work, but don't be a slave to fashion. She's a bright girl -- if she wasn't, she couldn't have gotten the job she has, but she looks like a H.A.M. (thanks, Fresh, for the terminology). For those of you who don't know what a H.A.M. is, it's a hot ass mess.

I met up with said young woman during my comings and goings at work and I could barely speak. She was wearing a huge, wavy black weave (which was an improvement from the heavy weave with the caramel highlights) and light brown contact lenses.

I love my Black people, but please, stay away from the coloured contact lenses. (I saw another chick wearing ones that were supposed to be light brown. They looked red and I felt like I was looking into the eyes of Satan. It's wrong. Don't do it.)

The weave and the contacts weren't necessarily ghetto, the outfit was. My girl was wearing a white fur jacket that covered her to her navel, a pair of tight jean capris and calf-length white boots with slits up the foot that exposed her skin.

Where do you even find boots like that?

Work is not a Lil Jon video.

For Halloween, some co-workers dressed up. Fine. I saw witches, princesses, etc., but of course, someone has got to take it too far. That would be the girl who dressed up like a Playboy bunny, bustier and all. Did I mention she was wearing tight sweatpants that had 'JUICY' on the back of them.

Good grief.

I mean, my work wear is quite conservative (today, I'm wearing a black pullover sweater over a black and white striped shirt, jeans and high heeled boots), but come on. Wear the crazy outfits on the weekend. When you're at work, try to look professional.

Here are some tips, in case you aren't sure if your attire is appropriate for the workplace.

Urban Sista's Work Attire Guidelines

• If your belly is exposed, your shirt is too dang short and not appropriate for work.
• If your jeans look like someone painted them on you and you have a camel toe or everyone knows the exact dimensions of your booty, crack and all, don't wear it to work.
• If we can all tell that you've breastfed children 'cause we can see the stretch marks on your breast, 'cause your shirts too low cut, it ain't for work.
• 'Stop snitching' and anything that has to do with weed consumption is not appropriate for work.
• Do not dress for the club and bring your tail into work. No one wants to see you look like a reject from a Sean Paul video. Pack a bag and change when work is done.
• You are not Melyssa Forde or Vida Guerra, you're backside should not be the main attraction at your workplace.
• If you're pants are sagged down past your knees and you can't walk properly, it's not work attire. And while you're at it, comb your dang hair -- how are you going to walk into work looking like ODB or Meth, with your head looking messy and unkempt? Chupse.
• If you have to re-arrange yourself so that your bra isn't exposed, it's not for work.

Why are these things not appropriate for work? Well, you want your supervisors or managers to recognize you for the great work you're doing, not for how your ass is falling out of your batty riders.

It's great to be back blogging folks. I'll talk to you later.