Romantic Realism: Notes from all over

Over this summer, I've seen and heard so many good pieces of advice, I feel the need to share. Enjoy!

Give him a chance to miss you
Put down the phone, ladies. Stop typing that email to that hot guy that you met three weeks ago who hasn't had a chance to email you back yet... although you already emailed him six times... just to say hi... 'cause he may have lost your email address...

No, he isn't too busy to talk. No, he's not dead on the side of ditch (although, I've been in that predicament -- the brother wasn't dead, just being a jackass). He's just not into you! I know that's a big catchphrase, but it's soooo right! The big problem here, was you didn't give the man a chance to miss you and figure out that he wants to talks to you or be with you.

Last night I had a rousing discussion with The Boyfriend, Big Sister and Marlo Girl after we watched the premiere episode of America's Next Top Model (go, Nik, go!) about relationships and what happens when women become the persuer.

Sisters, it doesn't work.

Well, it may work for a hot minute.

Men, by nature, can be a lazy bunch and if a woman is blowing up his voice mail and showing up on his doorstep every other night, he's certainly not going to put in the effort to woo her. Why would he? She's doing all the work. She's taking the fun out of the pursuing and she's not giving him a chance to miss her tail. She's always there.

If a man is truly interested, he will make all the effort in the world to let you know he's interested. He will never be too busy to call, email or go out because he wants you. He will call in between meetings, just to say hi. He will return emails quickly. He will want to plan dates or outings, just so he can see your pretty face.

If you're doing all the calling, emailing and wooing, girl, he doesn't want you. He may tolerate you. He may even think you're kinda cool. But trust me, when you decide you're not calling him, you won't be hearing from him.

Some women will say, "but wait. Am I supposed to sit here and just wait for a man to call me? Whatever, Urban Sista, I'm a strong, powerful woman and when I see something I want, I go and get it!"

Go 'head, star, but I'm sure that things aren't going to work out the way you think. Now, no one's saying not to approach a guy you're interested in if that's your thing. I can honestly say that I don't do that mess 'cause it just doesn't work for me. Everyone does things differently. But once the digits have been exchanged, it is time for you to hang back and see where he's coming from.

I heard this saying about relationships: men take time to get ready; women are always ready. Man, 90% of the time that's correct, 'cause most likely than not, if you didn't like his backside in the first place, he would have your number. A man will take a number of almost anyone in a skirt if he's mildly interested. Ladies, you can't convince a man to like you or even to ask you out. If you force the issue, be sure, he's going run the other direction and you'll be wondering, "where did Pookie go? We were getting along so well!"

Yes, we're independent, millennium women who don't wait by the phone -- we have things to do -- but as Marlo Girl said, it's the laws of the universe that are in play. If you chase a man, you're not going to catch him, 'cause "dog chase cat; cat nuh chase dog."

How you find your man is how you lose your man
I'm sitting here at my temporary cubicle, looking for things to do when I go to thestar. com and read an article about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. It seems that these two are now a real couple and Angelina's little boy, Maddox, is calling Brad 'daddy'.

Chupse.

Hopefully, Angelina knows that this fun is only for a time, 'cause how you get your man is exactly how you lose your man. Now, we all know Brad Pitt's MO. He was dating Gwyneth Paltrow and all of a sudden, my man dashed her backside and married Jennifer Aniston.

So, now Brad and Jenn get married in this elaborate ceremony with flowers and doves and the entire Friends cast and everything is happiness, love and roses.

Until Brad went on Oprah and pretty much said, if things work out for a while... A while? My man was already sounding like he was looking for something better. A marriage is not a leased car -- you can't drive it for a while then take it back to the shop. My man Pitt has a roving eye -- it roved from Gwyneth to Jennifer and now, look, Angelina is all in the mix.

So, history would tell us, that Brad is going to be all involved with Angelina, Maddox and Zahara for a bit and then, some other young, hot thang is going to catch his eye and off he goes. (Hearing Ms. Jolie's relationship history, she may jump ship before he does.)

But this is a great lesson for us, ladies. This man has a history of loving and leaving -- if that's your man, don't pretend you don't see it. If he left his former girlfriend/wife/baby momma for you, that means it won't bother him in the least to dump your tail for some other young hottie.

Old habits die hard, so if Pookie was sleeping with you when his wife was at home looking after the kids, think twice before you accept that ring, 'cause he most likely is going to do the same thing to you.

That's it for today, folks.

Enjoy the weekend!