I had Faith the concert would have happened…

…but as far as I’m concerned, it didn’t. I didn’t see Faith Evans last night and not for lack of trying.

Maybe Faith did come on stage at Tonic, but after nearly three hours of waiting and standing – thank God for comfy, cute shoes – I realized, I don’t like Faith that much. Besides, would Faith have stood up for three long hours outside on Richmond St. waiting for Urban Sista to appear?

Heck, no.

I swear I have no luck with this whole live music thing. Actually, I have no luck with Flow 93.5 FM. This radio station is forever screwing things up when it comes to concerts and events. I should have named this blog, ‘I hate Flow 93.5 FM’.

Because I do hate them.

Every time I go to a Flow event – Flowfest in 2002, the sadness that was the New Edition concert and now Faith’s intimate and exclusive appearance at Tonic Nightclub, which was neither intimate nor exclusive.

MarloGirl and I headed downtown yesterday evening – Marlo, being the superstar she is was invited to this event and I was the lucky person that got to go with her. We were looking cute and stylish and I was looking forward to hearing Faith live. The invite said 7 p.m.

When we got to Tonic, we saw a large group of people just lollygagging at the corner of Richmond and Peter Sts. Hmmph, I thought, it’s just after 7 p.m. why aren’t they letting anyone in?

The last time I had been to an event like this was when I saw Craig David at Indian Motorcycle a couple of years back compliments of Solitaire. When I arrived at Indian Motorcycle, I was quickly ushered in to the lounge and went upstairs. If the event started at 7 o’clock, Craig David was onstage by 7:45 pm the latest. He performed about five or six songs and was done by 8:30 pm.

But that event wasn’t put on by Flow.

So, we’re waiting, waiting, waiting and at around 7:45 or so, we’re told to line up. For anyone who’s never gone to Tonic, there’s a little alleyway beside the club where you line up.

And while we’re on the topic of Tonic Nightclub, why in goodness name would you book Faith there? While the place isn’t a pit, it surely isn’t a live music venue. There is no ambience and there are maybe seats for 30 people.

Marlo and I lined up along with two of her friends and we waited. And waited. And waited some more. As if the crowd wasn’t getting annoyed enough, an irate pigeon was randomly pooping on people.

In situations like these, it makes no sense to get tense and vex, so I people watched. And, Lord forgive me, people in Toronto have the most jacked up weaves ever. I have nothing against weaves – I have worn a couple in my lifetime – but if you’re going to get a weave, get the best weave in the store. Enough with buying the $5 a pack hair, girls. It looks like crap.

And when the weave mats together and is one big clump, that’s when it’s time to pull that bad boy out and start afresh.

I’m not leaving the brothers out. Guys, I don’t know a lot about razor bumps, but if the back of your head is a collage of bumps and blisters, please go to a dermatologist and get that mess checked out. Until then, wear a hat.

But back to the line.

A homeless person decided to scout the line for people to hit up money from. Lucky we were a line of kind hearted folks, ‘cause a few people donated to his cause. I learned in the line that tall men have no manners when they reach their big arms over top the heads of small women and mash down the sisters' hairdos. And you know how long it takes for a Black woman to do her hair.

Overall, it was a good crowd – no bad-behaviour and for the most part, people with good manners.

The four of us are waiting and finally the line starts moving. It’s about 8:30 pm when we got inside Tonic and it was packed. There could have been at least 300 people in there. I thought this was going to be an intimate and exclusive thing with maybe 70 people or so in the joint.

Ha.

It was like was Saturday night at a club. The music was bumping and we made our way through to crowd to the washrooms – which were already nasty and half-clogged by the time we made it in.

Marlo was griping that she was hungry. I wasn’t hungry, but I was getting miserable because it had been an hour and a half of my time wasted. I could have been at home watching the finale of America’s Next Top Model or getting ready to watch American Idol. Time well spent is not time hitched up in a dark club on a Wednesday night.

I had to work in the morning.

And if things didn’t get started soon, I was going to bounce. Marlo looked as if she was ready to hit the door after we used the ladies room.

Marlo and I are short. No two ways about it. Even in our high heels, people were towering over us blocking our sightlines. So, we were manoeuvring through the club trying to find the best place to see the stage, in hopes that Faith would come onstage soon.

But there was no good place to stand, because, like I said before, Marlo and I are short. We ended up in the back by the deejay booth, arms folded, heads bopping to Digable Planets, A Tribe Called Quest and Sweet Sable. That’s all fine and dandy, but I didn’t leave the warmth and comfort of my place in Scarborough to travel downtown on a weeknight to go to an old skool jam.

It was almost nine o’clock. I wanted to see Faith.

Now.

“You ready? ‘Cause, I’m ready to go,” said Marlo in her girly-girl voice.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I said. When the ride is ready to go, you go, right? Right.

Marlo’s friend, Bashy, objected. “Why are you going? They said she was going to be on in 15 minutes.”

I never heard this announcement. But I was willing to wait the fifteen minutes – if she was really going to perform in fifteen minutes.

I don’t know why I believe these Flow people’s deceitful announcements anyway. In February, they were trying to convince me that at 11 pm, New Edition – although they were circling Buttonville Airport in Markham – were going to perform at the Hummingbird Centre.

Chupse.

I should have learned my lesson then. But because I didn’t know that this was a Flow sponsored event, I schlepped my backside downtown.

Nine-fifteen came and went and still no Faith. Marlo looked at me. The girl was famished and I think she turns into a mean hungry person.

“If nothing happens by nine-thirty, let’s go,” I said.

More old skool joints. People were squeezing by in the rammed club with plenty of drinks. I know Tonic made some good money last night on the drinks alone.

No announcements. No statements. No live music.

No nothing.

I looked at my watch: nine-thirty. No Faith. Not even a backup singer onstage.

“What time is it?” Marlo asked.

“Nine-thirty.”

“Alright. It’s time to go.” I agreed.

I mean, it had been almost three hours standing with nothing happening besides waiting. Let’s put this in perspective: would Faith wait three hours for Urban Sista to go onstage? I like Faith, but I don’t like her that much.

“You’re leaving already?” asked Bashy, surprised. Ahhh, to be young again. When I was in my early 20s, I may have hung around. But I have no interest in just waiting around to possibly see a singer.

Marlo and I bounced. By the time we left downtown, it could have been around 9:45 pm.

Three hours of my life wasted.

Now, Faith possibly went on at 10 or 10:30 or 11 pm, but I didn’t care. I wanted to see her perform until about 9 pm. At nine, I lost all interest in Faith, her singing and everything else.

If an invitation says, 7 pm, I expect something to happen at 7 pm. Not three or more hours later.

As Marlo said, it’s just plain rude. Have I not anything else to do with my night? If Faith couldn’t make it onstage until 11 pm, have the invitation for 10 pm so I can choose whether or not I want to be out of my house until all hours of the night. Don’t have me waiting around like an idiot for three hours plus.

But, damn that Flow, that’s their modus operandi.

I am boycotting any Flow event from now on. I’m disgusted with them and their lack of organization and planning.

Chupse.